ask molly

Dear Molly,

Is Arman gay?

-confused


Dear Confused, I know that you know that I know the answer.




Dear Molly,

When a certain two of my friends are together, they are creepos. What should I do?

Love, Helpless Harriett


What do you mean by creepos? When your friends hang out do they smooch and get cozy? Are they on the path to dating? Or do they meet in a barn and brand themselves? I guess my general advice is that you should talk to them lightly. Creepos is an ambiguous word.




Dear Molly,

How do I tell my friend that he's gay when he doesn't know it?

from, Rose Budd


I think these are things people need to find out for themselves.




Dear Molly,

How many farts does it take to eat a cupcake?

-Anonymous



None.





Dear Molly,

There's a boy who's so smart and nice but I can't talk to him. He's a junior and i'm a freshman. But I know he's perfect. He has a girlfriend I admire from afar?

-Anonymous


First off, this is high school no more. So what if he's a junior and you're a freshman. Maybe this means you've only been to the metcalf store 50 times instead of 500 but whatevs. Talk to him! However, I have no idea what you mean by 'girlfriend from afar?'




Dear Molly,

My girlfriend is far too silly. How do I break her in and make a woman of her?

-Anon. in Pajam


Alright jimjams. What are the plans to 'break her in"? What are you talking about? Do you want a boring ass stone face blow up doll? Grow and lean and love it a little. Silly!




Dear Molly,

Why is the "grandma" cook in?

-Anonymous

Ask her yo self. I also have no idea what you are talking about.




Dear Molly,

How do I tell my friend that she has bad BO without ruining our friendship?

-Amanda F.


Tell your friend. It's like if someone has their fly unzipped. You should tell them so they don't have to go through life with their fly unzipped. Tell your friend. She may already know and not care!